loretodem.com
The Tool
Contest
Get First Crack At 'Er
Are you the foreman? →
— Whadda ya at, b'y? Up on that ladder again, is what.
Low man. Overhead work. Every time.
— The Loretodem, 6am, every jobsite, from the Rock to BC
You knows the guy. You might be the guy, go on b'y. New on crew? That ceiling track isn't gonna screw itself, me son. Been here 15 years? Stunned as a bag of hammers — you're still the guy.
There's a tool built for exactly this. No ladders. No shoulder surgery. She's some deadly, b'y.
Luh — show me the thing →
Loretodem mascot — scrawny, redheaded, drywall stilts
Illustrated mascot anchors hero + contest sections. Sticker. Meme. Forever.
Who is the Loretodem?
Every crew has one. Most crews had one.
Low on the totem pole. First one handed the drywall stilts. Last one to find out there was a better way. Some savage amount of overhead work and not a word of complaint out of him — he's too proud for that, b'y.
The Loretodem isn't some stunned young fella — he's just the one the job always seems to land on. Could be the newest guy on crew. Could be the one who never said no. Could be the guy who's been at it so long he forgot there was another option. You knows the one. Everybody knows the one.
"I spent twelve years as the Loretodem on every crew I ever worked. Overhead every day, no whinging, not a peep. She was well and truly gone west — my shoulder — before I got some smart about it and started looking for a better way."
— John Wagner, inventor, Loretodem
🪜😑🧱
Still the low man?
"It wasn't even my turn, b'y. It's never my turn. Somehow she's always my turn. Go on, b'y. Yes b'y."
Character quote card — Figma asset
You knows the one, luh
"I'm some fine, b'y" — said while rotating his shoulder like a busted weathervane in a January blow.
The Daily Grind
☑ Up that ladder 200 times a day, mauzy morning or not — she's what it is
☑ Counts down to Friday starting Tuesday. Sometimes Monday afternoon.
☑ Refers to ibuprofen as a "food group" and Buckley's as a chaser
☑ Ice pack in the truck. Every night. Don't tell the wife how long that's been going on.
The Long Career
☑ A different ache for every day of the week — she's some crooked altogether by Thursday
☑ Told the young fella "you'll understand in 10 years, me cocky"
☑ Loves the trade something savage — it's everything else that's gone all to lard
☑ Still hasn't called a physio. Too busy. Wouldn't know what to say anyway. Yes b'y.
The Retirement Plan
☑ Gives 'er 100% until about 2pm — some lubberly after that, luh, but he gets 'er done
☑ Would sooner retire broke than admit to a soul the job got hard
☑ Hasn't seen his feet without going crooked sideways since the Harper government
☑ "Few more years, b'y" — said every year since before his oldest was born
Aye b'y. We built this for you.
The Flagship Model
Foot goes down. Work comes up. Shoulders stay attached.
Loretodem — Flagship
Introductory Model
The Loretodem Flagship is a foot-actuated easy-riser platform that hauls your work up to chest height. Step on 'er, she lifts, you works at a proper human angle for once in your life. Dead simple, me son.
Built for drywall, framing, glazing, HVAC, plumbing, and electrical — anyone who spends their day reaching overhead on a ladder that didn't need to be there.
No ladders. No scaffolding. No "just give 'er" until something gives out on ya.
The Loretodem is some handy, always has been — but he's not a martyr, b'y. That whole yarn of getting hurt so the rest of the crew doesn't have to think about it? That ends here, luh.
That's the whole works. Best kind.
Get first crack at 'er →
Product photo / demo video — Loretodem Flagship in red, white, blue
Foot-Actuated
Hands-free lift mechanism
Chest Height
Ergonomic working position
All Trades, B'y
Framing · Drywall · Glazing · HVAC · Plumbing · Electrical
The Loretodem Contest
Are you the Loretodem on your crew? Prove it, b'y — and get paid for it.
Get your hands on a Loretodem, haul out your phone, and film yourself using her on a real jobsite. Two ways to win, me son. Pick your poison.
Your phone. Your jobsite. The only rule is she's gotta be real — real site, real tool, real you. No stunned studio nonsense, b'y.
Track 1
Field Use — The Real Deal
Film yourself actually using the Loretodem on the job. Drywall. Framing. Glazing. HVAC. Plumbing. Electrical. Whatever your trade, luh — if you're up to your arms in overhead work and the Loretodem is under your feet, that's your entry.
Best form. Best result. Best demonstration of "she works, b'y."
Prize
Cash + Featured
Top clips get paid. All clips get seen. Winners announced monthly, b'y.
Most viral
Track 2
Funny Business — Make 'Em Howl
Still gotta use the Loretodem — but here you're going for laughs. Reenact the moment you were handed the stilts. Let the apprentice narrate. Have your foreman react. Get the glazier to do his thing. Get some creative with it, me son.
Judged by the crew — most likes, shares, and general howling wins. Judges reserve the right to award bonus points for anything involving a Newfie accent.
Prize
Cash + Merch + Glory
Winner gets paid AND gets the Loretodem merch pack. Plus bragging rights on every jobsite forever.
How to enter — she's some simple, b'y
1.
Get your hands on a Loretodem. Sign up below and we'll get ya sorted, me son.
2.
Film your clip on a real jobsite. Vertical, phone-quality is fine. She don't need to be Hollywood, luh.
3.
Post it and tag @loretodem — or submit direct below. Both count, b'y.
4.
Win. Or at least get famous on every jobsite that follows us. Best kind either way.
First clips dropping soon, b'y.
The Loretodem is hitting jobsites across the trades — drywall, framing, glazing, HVAC, plumbing, electrical. The phones are coming out. Drop your email below and we'll tell ya the second the contest goes live and the first clips start rolling in.
Top Prize
Cash — announced at launch
Monthly Winners
Cash + Loretodem merch pack
Funniest Clip
Cash + jobsite glory forever
Get notified when it goes live →
Get 'er done — submit your clip →
In case you need numbers
In case you need to explain this to your foreman.
— Or to yourself, standing at the bottom of that ladder at 6:45am, mauzy as the Rock in November and twice as damp.
$15K–$30K
Average out-of-pocket cost for a rotator cuff repair, plus 6–12 months off the tools. And that's if she goes well, b'y. One Loretodem is some lot cheaper than that, I'll tell ya.
80–120×
Times a tradesperson hauls himself up and down a ladder on a typical overhead day. Every one of them trips adds up — on your knees, on your back, on your nerves. She's some tedious, that.
8–10 yrs
How many years too early the average tradesperson leaves the work he loves. Shoulder and back trouble, mostly. Gone west before his time, and that's no yarn.
The Loretodem gives 'er every day and he's not going out like that — leaving the trade before he's ready because some foreman never thought to ask "is there a better way, b'y?" We're not saying the Loretodem tool fixes the whole works. We're saying she fixes the part that's been going savage on your body since you were the young fella on crew — framer, boarder, glazier, sparky, plumber, HVAC, doesn't matter, b'y.
Get in early
The Loretodem gets first crack at 'er.
Drop your email, me son. We'll tell ya when the intro unit is ready to go, what the launch price looks like, and when the contest gets fired up. No newsletter. No "exciting updates." No blather. Just the straight yarn when it matters.
First name, b'y
Email address
Yes b'y — I'm in.
We won't spam ya — that'd be some stunned of us, and we're not after going all to lard this early in the game.
loretodem.com
About
Contest
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Contact
Built by the lads who did the work. For the lads who still gives 'er. Best kind, b'y.
Not the Loretodem on your crew?
Are you the foreman? → lortunder.com
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